


I Wanna Touch You

by ChristianHowe, helena_s_renn



Series: Eleven Strings – yksitoista kieltä [5]
Category: Def Leppard, Sonata Arctica
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:11:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristianHowe/pseuds/ChristianHowe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/helena_s_renn/pseuds/helena_s_renn
Summary: Title says it all.





	I Wanna Touch You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not ours, not true; as far as the authors are aware, none of this ever happened.

* * *

Sav's breathing became slow and even seconds after he'd wished Jani a good night. Jani expected to fall asleep, too, in a manner of minutes, but it didn't happen. Instead, he found himself churning through thoughts like a hamster trapped in its wheel. Granted, today had been rock bottom not only of his career but also of his personal life, but he'd seen most of this coming for a long time already – with the exception of breaking his finger, of course – so why did it now keep him awake? Was he not drunk enough? It was a while since he'd gone to bed without a few – okay, many – drinks. If he was honest, he couldn't even remember the last time this had happened, but even though he wasn't drunk, he felt more or less indifferent toward everything, probably thanks to the sedative, so why couldn't he just fall asleep? He wasn't even in pain.

That Anni would break up with him was foreseeable. The affair with Miia wasn't supposed to last forever. Yet he was upset about both of them calling an end to their respective relationships. Jani knew that it was his fault. He should have never started the affair. If he hadn't been so frustrated with his life, he probably wouldn't have done it at all. It hadn't happened because he didn't love Anni any longer, no, it was more like he needed a distraction from all the other things that went wrong for him. If only he could have talked to Anni, explained what was going on with him, he was sure she'd have helped him come to terms with it. But no, he was Jani Liimatainen, who took the Finnish stereotype of being introvert to a whole new level. He had no problem admitting that this was all his fault and he was deeply sorry for hurting both women in the process.

Then there was Sonata. The rift between him and the others was also, at least a significant part of it, on him. His drinking had really taken over and he wasn't even sure any longer if he still had any kind of control over it. Like Anni, his bandmates had offered to listen, but he just couldn't do it, couldn't open up, to anyone. Instead, he'd withdrawn more and more into himself and whatever booze was available. The others were worried, had been worried for months, but he still wouldn't, couldn't, let anyone near. The same held for his friends back home and, even more so, his family. The whole conscription mess was hanging over his head, and although it had always been clear to him that ignoring it wouldn't solve it, he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. He wasn't aware if the other Sonata knew about that, they hadn't asked, but maybe they'd finally given up on trying to make him talk to them.

And the strange thing was that he'd had no problems at all today confiding in Sav, a man he'd only met for the first time a few hours ago. Someone from another generation and, in a way, a different culture, too. Someone with problems that were, unlike Jani's, not caused by his own making. This Bell's palsy, which Jani remembered to be a paralysis of one side of the face, that Sav said got worse when he was tired and that he'd had for a long time already – Jani's finger was nothing in comparison as according to the doctor it'd be fully healed in a few weeks. Besides, if Jani hadn't been drunk, if he hadn't fallen out with Tony, if he hadn't lost his phone after the call from Anni, if he hadn't missed the transport back to the hotel, any of these things that were all down to him, he was convinced that he wouldn't have fallen.

Another thought occurred to him. On waking from his nightmare, Sav had called out for Steve. He must have been the guitarist who'd died. Jani froze. He couldn't begin to imagine what it must feel like to lose a band member. If this happened to Sonata... He saw himself standing at Tommy's grave and had to bite his lip to stop – mitä hittoa, what, tears? And from the sound of Sav's voice Steve had also been a friend – of course he was a friend! Jani considered each and every member of Sonata a close friend, closer than anyone else with the possible exception of Risto, but even Tony meant so much to him, regardless of how much they were fighting recently.

No, unlike Jani, whose predominant emotion appeared to be self-pity, Sav had a real reason – no, at least two reasons Jani knew about – to be at odds with his life. Yet Jani's impression of the man was one of a balanced and well-grounded person, whose issues had surfaced only now that he was deeply exhausted – for which, at least in part, Jani was responsible.

So why couldn't he get his shit together? And why couldn't he finally sleep? Jani's whole life suddenly felt like a giant wave crashing down over him. It was all too much. He felt small and insignificant and... No, he wouldn't cry, he just wouldn't...

* * *

This time, sleep was deep, dark, dream-free. Or, if he dreamt, the imagery was benign and ultimately forgettable. When Sav next woke, it was still dark. This time, as he lay there quiet and still, he remembered immediately that the person with him in the bed was the Finnish guitar player he'd met, the bloke with 99 problems. Jani was over on his side of the bed, Sav was on his own side. There was a good metre between them. But he could sense something was wrong. Jani's breathing sounded off. Laboured. At first, Sav was thinking some kind of sleep apnoea.

Then he noticed the mattress was moving. Like, shaking. Only a little, a man could only shake a monster like this bed so much. Nothing like those coin-operated vibrating machines he and his mates had laughed their arses off about when they first came to America – and tried out endlessly. It felt like... was Jani... crying...?

His first instinct was bred bone-deep: to scoff that it was quite a sissy reaction to a little thing like a broken pinkie. Sav recognised it as Sheffield, where the men were men and they didn't talk about it. His childhood home hadn't been as bad as some, but he, like all boys, had had a certain amount of that sort of conditioning practically from birth.

He quickly dismissed his initial reaction. That wasn't his nature, which had made him gravitate toward other young people who weren't destined to fit the classic "hard man" mold. Being in a band, one was writing and playing music, singing and dancing and banging their heads. All of them learned to toe the line between "sensitive artists" and mindless, horny party boys. The more they disseminated their feelings in song, the better it sold. In their era, it was already acceptable to dye their hair, wear make-up and crazy clothes. They had Bowie and Bolan and probably even Duran Duran to thank for that.

Jani, extremely reserved in Sav's book – other than when he'd been high from the hospital drugs – which could be a problem itself, had issues. Band problems, woman problems, lost his phone, couldn't find his own hotel, something in his home country he wouldn't discuss but which carried an end result of time in jail... who knew what else. Not being able to play stifled his creativity and his livelihood. Sav hadn't been in that position, per se, although there'd been a few rough months where he'd refused to go on stage or camera. And yes, he'd found himself in tears or bawling over his condition a few times. Okay, a bunch of times. No one liked their fragile human state and mortality shoved in their face. And, Sav was loathe to admit it, but his ego had got knocked down a few – hundred – pegs. Hard to be the pretty one when half your face was somewhere between frozen and melting.

He was probably better for it, as awful as it had been. From this distance, he could see that. He quit with the coke and pills, ate healthier, mastered the 5-string. This young musician though, probably considered professional for a handful of years versus Sav's 25-ish, would still be in the throes of that first hot rush of success, depending on his band's ability to keep going. To lose all that would be devastating. He could well relate. Probably, he was just a big sap with the amount of empathy he was feeling. If he didn't watch it, he'd be in tears himself.

For the time being, he kept silent. It was obvious Jani didn't want to be heard; he stifled his sounds to the point where all that was noticeable was the erratic breathing, although any idiot would know what was going on. The shaking intensified. Jani sounded like he was about to choke and Sav couldn't just do nothing.

"Jani..." The response was some sort of wounded animal noise that shredded Sav's own reserve. "Let it out."

* * *

Vittu, vittu, vittu, now he'd really blown it! Jani froze – mentally, because for some reason his body wouldn't stop shaking. Why, why, why did Sav have to wake up? Not only did the other man really need his sleep but the last thing Jani needed was being witnessed in this pathetic state. What was he, a thirteen-year-old girl? And wasn't he supposed to be a Finn? Hello, sisu?

Sav's voice sounded worried and infinitely gentle when he whispered Jani's name. It should have been comforting to have someone close who cared – and he felt it deeply that Sav cared, regardless of how tired he must be – but somehow knowing that Sav really wanted to help only served to make it worse because Jani didn't deserve to be cared about.

Then Sav encouraged him to 'let it out' and the dam broke. Jani still managed to cry quietly, but he couldn't deny the tears any longer. He felt small and worthless and all he wanted was to turn to Sav and throw himself in the bassist's arms in a childish hope that this would make all his problems go away. It was stupid, of course, and he should just get up and leave, but he already knew that Sav wasn't going to let him.

"It's..." He'd been about to say nothing but doubted that Sav would believe him. Grown men didn't cry over nothing. "I'm an idiot," Jani whispered, afraid that his voice would give out if he spoke up. "I'm so sorry to drag you into all of this. I seem to be totally incapable of dealing with any of my shit. I shouldn't be here, keeping you awake. I..." He squeezed his eyes shut, glad that the other couldn't see his vain attempt to blink the tears away. "I'm... a mess... I... dunno..."

He was falling apart and there seemed to be nothing he could do to stop it. "I'm so sorry..."

* * *

"Don't be sorry..." Jani spoke only in whispers; Sav kept his voice low but spoke to be heard. He didn't have a particularly deep or notable voice yet he somehow felt that to hear someone and not just disembodied hissing might keep Jani more calm. "It's alright, lad. No trouble. Everyone goes through shit but sometimes it's too much. Done my share of..."

He wouldn't give a name to it out loud. Sav wished he knew Jani better, not sure what he could say that wouldn't piss him off or make him feel worse for being so compromised – as he was sure Jani would consider it – in front of another person. The suggestions Jani himself had made after Sav's nightmare came to mind. "Would you like some water, or a hug, or to be left alone...?"

Sitting up in bed, Sav got ready to move, toward or away. His impulse was to reach for the younger man and hold onto him while he exhausted himself, but it could be so incredibly unwelcome as to drive Jani to leave, and he was in no condition to do so.

* * *

"I _am_ sorry." Jani bit his lip. "Not only for keeping you awake. In the grand drama that's my life, ruining your evening would actually even count as one of the less major things I've fucked up. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how I've managed to screw up basically each and everything that matters."

He swallowed. "There's this song Tony wrote that we always play at the end of our set, The Cage. It's about a wolf that's locked up and he's going to die in that cage because he needs to be free. That's how I feel. Trapped in a cage of my own making, backed into a corner by my very own stupid mistakes. I'm pathetic, I know, and you... you..."

Jani couldn't continue when he heard Sav's offer. Everything in him was screaming to be hugged, kept safe if only for a moment, but he didn't have the right to ask this from Sav. "I... I want..." He clenched his good hand into a fist. "But I don't deserve it. I should leave, but I'm too much of a coward for that. Sav, I'm... I..." He meant to apologise again but even though he was only whispering his voice broke.

* * *

Sav wouldn't say he'd never heard such desolation, but that degree of abject misery wasn't an everyday emotion. The wolf in the cage, a cage of its own making... pacing and pacing, sure he was going to die in there. It was painful to listen to. Jani started to say what he wanted, then cut himself off. How had this kid been raised, in some kind of religious or political sect where wanting things for oneself was a sin? What the fuck did he mean, he didn't deserve... what?

Then Jani slid his name, Sav, between his words, a moan, the thrum of beating wings, and he knew... like when he'd heard what had to have been Jani play, his skin turned to exquisite gooseflesh and all the little hairs stood straight up. No, no, his body thought one thing but Sav overrode it – Jani wanted to be held, only that, but he was afraid to ask for it. One more rejection would utterly break him.

"Mm-hmm. Yes. I know..." Sav couldn't say it either. Pushing the covers off himself, he crawled across the centre of the bed. Jani was curled up on his side, facing away. "Sit up now, lad," he murmured, glad he had left the light off. After a cycle or two of deep sleep he felt better, but who knew how skewed his face might still be.

Jani didn't move; Sav figured it was on him. He had asked what he'd asked. Jani had all but begged without asking for a thing. Fuck it. Touching Jani's shoulder first, he plunked down on his butt and manhandled Jani into sitting. "Jani..." his voice was thick as he offered his arms. "It's okay, you can have..."

* * *

When Sav asked him to sit up, Jani didn't, couldn't move. He felt so drained that he didn't have enough energy left even for that. However, Sav apparently didn't let himself be discouraged by the lack of response. He'd said he knew, so maybe he understood what was going on, unlike Jani, who didn't have a clue what was wrong with him.

Then there was a warm, firm hand on his shoulder. Jani found himself turned around to face Sav – or he would have faced him if not for the darkness of the room – and pulled up. He stiffened for a second, but then the need to... _feel..._ overwhelmed him and he sank against Sav. The bassist smelled of the complimentary shower gel and something Jani couldn't place, but he knew that from now on he'd associate the fragrance with... feeling safe, sanctuary.

Inhaling the scent, Jani got his breathing under control, so that he was no longer afraid that his voice would fail him. "This," he began, "I... This isn't me. Today is like... everything's too much. And you... Please, Sav, can I hug you?"

* * *

Slumped against him but only that, Jani asked Sav's permission to hug him, not because of any concern of celebrity status like everyone else in the last 20-odd hours, but because he deemed himself unworthy of even that small comfort. Sav, for his part, was starting to tremble from the effort of holding himself back. Jani dropped his name again, a gasp, a plea. Holding this kid, however platonically, was probably a bad idea. Well, he was the old man here – he could show the necessary restraint.

"Of course... y'know I offered. I think you need it... someone to hold you." Now it was Sav who was whispering, hands seeking out Jani's arms, his sides, turning him, pulling him closer. "I... I need it..." he admitted.

* * *

His ears must be playing tricks on him. Had Sav really just said that _he_ needed it? That couldn't be true!

True or not, a moment later Jani found himself in Sav's embrace. He let out a sigh that sounded like a wounded cry when he wrapped his arms around the other man, holding on to him as if his life depended on it. He was still shaking and his heart was beating like crazy when he leaned his head against Sav's shoulder. Jani hated himself for being so needy, but he never wanted to let go again.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Feels good."

* * *

"Welcome... and, likewise."

Sav tightened his grip for just a moment then eased off, not much different than how he would proceed in giving his Mum a hug. Jani's long hair, soft and fine, fell against Sav's face. But this was not like embracing any sort of woman – relative, groupie or otherwise. Jani clung to him like a frightened child, shaking with battened-down sobs, flat chest pressed against his, one wiry arm twined around his back, more substance and strength to his upper body in general. He was warm, so warm, from sleep or fever or his exertions over keeping quiet. After a day of being too hot and sweating his arse off, Sav would have thought he'd never gravitate toward warmth again. He was wrong.

The old saying that his heart was going to beat out of his chest felt close to the truth. Sav's racing pulse made it difficult to breathe. Not even running around on stage for an hour got him this keyed up. He was beginning to wonder how he was supposed to have a calming effect on Jani when he was no longer anything but tranquil, himself, under the surface. His intentions had been good: help for one who couldn't help himself, comfort for the hurt. Nothing that anyone with half a heart wouldn't do. _Oh really? You poor, stupid motherfucker!_ laughed his Id. Well, he didn't have to do anything about it, did he?

Jani moved around a little, and his splinted hand made its way around Sav's back, bringing them into even closer contact. The low groan that tore out of Sav's throat was beyond his control. "So good..." he whispered. His skin hyper-aware of every sensation, Sav buried his nose in Jani's mane near his nape and squeezed tighter.

* * *

This shouldn't feel so good, so _right,_ Jani thought as Sav pulled him close, then released his hold a little, so that he was still enfolded in Sav's arms but able to breathe. They were so close that he could feel Sav's heart beat against his chest – and it was almost as fast as his own. Sav appeared to be calm and why would he be upset unless he didn't want to hug Jani and had offered it only out of a sense of duty...

Before that thought could develop any further, however, Sav nuzzled Jani's hair and whispered, barely audible but still unmistakably, that it felt good. So Jani wasn't the only one! It immediately lightened his tension a little. Also, Sav had said only a few seconds ago that he needed the hug, too. Jani had offered him a hug earlier, too – which was, admittedly, out of character for him, but Sav had been so distraught when he'd woken up from his nightmare that a hug was one of the few things Jani could think of to offer as help. It hadn't been accepted, and a part of Jani had been relieved about that. Hugging strangers was part of being a rock star but that didn't usually include hugging a virtual – male – stranger when he was sleeping in their bed. Now that Sav had returned the offer, Jani wondered if Sav had wanted the hug already earlier but had declined after reading Jani's slight unease...

He should stop overthinking everything, Jani told himself. Miraculously, for once he succeeded in following his own advice. Continuing breathing in Sav's scent, cradled safely against his warm chest, Jani hadn't felt as... good was too weak a word, but he couldn't think of any better one... in a long time. He rubbed his nose against Sav's neck and sighed with relief.

Jani was happy – almost, as he knew this couldn't last. Although he no longer doubted that Sav wasn't uncomfortable returning the hug, at least Jani would develop a crick in his neck sooner or later, and Sav would probably, too. The moment the thought came to his mind, he already felt his neck muscles beginning to tense. He really didn't want to end this, but maybe...

"Sav," he whispered against the other's neck, "do you think we can lay down for this?"

* * *

Oh god. Jani's lips flitted against his neck as he spoke, asking him if they could lay down. Sav broke a sweat. He didn't know when he'd last participated in such a delicate lead-up... if it was. Did Jani really know what he was asking?

"Aye... I think so..." Sav answered, more breath than vocalisation again. Thus far, Jani had let himself be cradled against Sav's chest; when he made to move away, they were more at eye level with each other. In the dark, both of their respirations accelerated, Sav felt like his pupils – both of them – were blown wide open so he could see every feature, every perfection and imperfection in Jani's face, from the newly-shaven smooth skin of the young, to his finely-formed eyebrows, circles under his eyes, high forehead, his lips... More importantly, the kid wasn't scared. Maybe nervous, but as Sav had learned, it was more that he worried about being a bother than anything else.

"I'm gonna..." What Sav had meant to convey was that he'd move over, so they didn't fall off Jani's side of the bed in the process. What he did, though: without thinking, he pulled Jani in again. Before he knew it, he had one hand tangled in Jani's hair and he was leaning his head around... he needed to get at his neck, his pulse point, his fucking skin... and there it was. Like a newborn baby, Sav led with his mouth, lips landing on the bare flesh above the collar of Jani's tee. It wasn't just a quick kiss, more like two long ones ending in a flash of tongue, but he didn't bite, didn't suck. Tasted... rainwater and salt. Like rock salt. God, he needed to lick this man's entire body.

His eyes were burning. The latent heat that had been caged under Sav's ribs flowed downward. "Okay?" he rasped.

* * *

To Jani's relief, Sav immediately agreed to lie down. The bassist announced that he'd move over so they wouldn't fall off of the bed, then, mindful of Jani's injured hand, he loosened his embrace a little – which Jani registered as loss – and scooted down the mattress, pulling Jani with him.

It was good to be horizontal again. Still in Sav's arms but with some space to move, Jani turned on his side to face Sav: He wanted, no, needed, to feel Sav against him. Something in the back of his mind told him that this was maybe not a good idea; neither of them was clad in more than underwear, but he told the tiny voice in his head to shut up. He wasn't having sex with Sav, this was all about comforting each other.

But then Sav's mouth somehow landed on Jani's collarbone and... It felt like a kiss, a lick, but that couldn't be right, right? But Sav did it again, whatever it was, and Jani couldn't help but moan. "Oh fuck, yes!"

* * *

Hearing Jani moan like that, Sav let loose another of his own. "Yesssss..." he echoed. He'd made his move; the next, if there was going to be one, was Jani's. The body and the person it belonged to in his arms here was his to care for, for tonight. A part of that, besides doing the necessary, was not infringing on the other person's boundaries.

Oh, but he wanted to. He wasn't prepared – literally or mentally – to have sex with a man, not the full monty, but there were a lot of other things they could do to make each other feel good... if Jani's moan about it being 'good' meant he was up for more. Sav was up alright, in the last five seconds. He made no mention, though, and kept the lower half of himself carefully away. Instead, he ran his palm down Jani's back, stopping when he felt the waistband of his boxers.

Jani was staring into his face, eyes huge from what little Sav could make out in the relative dark. Puffs of air flowed around his neck, even ruffling his hair as Jani panted. What could he do, though? Nothing forced, or even coerced – Sav didn't want that. His partners had always been right there with him. It thrilled him to see that reciprocation, or, as a younger bloke, to have eyes glued to him, their owners salivating. It wasn't like that any longer... one here or there, but always willing.

He bowed his head to Jani having a nice cuddle and Sav waiting till he fell asleep and then sneaking off for a wank. It hurt to think about, he wanted to touch this man so much. Well, if not with his hands and not with his wood, then... fuck it. First, he made sure to hug Jani one more time, a wordless assurance this was succour and support. Then, breaking his promise to himself, Sav gripped the hem of the t-shirt he was wearing and pulled it off over his head.

* * *

Jani closed his eyes and let himself be held again. Sav rubbed his back, which was nice and soothing – and very different from whatever Sav's mouth had been doing to his collarbone. Remembering that and how he'd moaned in reaction to that, Jani felt embarrassed.

Hopefully, Sav hadn't interpreted it as something sexual! Jani had to admit that he was a little aroused, which shouldn't happen, not when he was sharing a bed with a man. It must be the sedative, he thought. Not that he had anything against gays or anyone being gay, but he'd never felt that kind of attraction toward a man himself. He wasn't sure if he was attracted to Sav, there was something special about the bassist, but considering how his day had gone and that Sav had been there for him all along, taking care of him down to hugging him through his breakdown, Jani thought it was probably normal to feel close to his saviour in such circumstances.

As reluctant as he was to get close to anyone when he was sober, Jani knew he turned into the touchy-feely type when he was in his cups. There were videos on the Internet of him hugging, even kissing guys after a show, when he'd, obviously, been hammered. He hadn't been aroused in these instances, but he'd never opened up to anyone before like he had to Sav today, so if he felt his dick reacting to Sav caressing his back, that was probably fallout in reaction to the drugs and injury.

What counted now was that Sav wouldn't become aware of the fact. Jani had no intention of making him uncomfortable. Granted, there was a chance that Sav was bisexual, but even if he was, Jani wasn't stupid. He knew what he looked like, and nobody in their right mind would be attracted to him, especially not since his looks came in combination with his issues and inability to cope with them.

When Sav eventually returned Jani's moan with one of his own, Jani thought for a moment that Sav might feel attraction, after all, but he told himself firmly that this couldn't be. Then Sav pulled back a little to take off his shirt and Jani wondered again if he wasn't mistaken. Also, did the other keep his lower body away from him on purpose? Jani's breathing hitched. It couldn't be! He was beginning to reach the point where he _wanted_ Sav to be attracted to him, but this would never happen, not in Jani's messed-up life where nothing ever seemed to go right these days. Besides, what would he do if Sav was attracted?

No, he was clearly mistaken, had to be. There was a perfectly logical reason why Sav had taken his shirt off. He was either too warm or he wanted to provide more warmth for Jani. Considering how Jani was – still – shaking, the latter made a lot of sense. Not sure if it was emotional or physical warmth he was craving more, Jani asked, shyly, "Should I take mine off, too? It'll be warmer then."

* * *

He should have known better. What had he been thinking? He hadn't been thinking at all, or more accurately, thinking with the wrong head. Well, shite. Sav, hearing Jani's hesitant question as to removing his own shirt, knew he'd made a mistake.

How many times had he said to himself tonight, "this wasn't that"? Different times, different genders, different people. His mind kept wanting to draw parallels where there were none. And of all of them, Jani wasn't...

Oh, grow the fuck up, Sav. Jani wasn't Steve. He was hurt and messed up and semi-stoned, but he hadn't put his hands on Sav and bent him over, taught him unknowable things about himself, hadn't invited any tit-for-tat of the sort to even a non-existent score, hadn't said "sorry I was drunk" and held him off for years to finally relent on a lonely holiday only to be discovered cold and alone and devoid of life less than two weeks later.

At this point, Sav's body was sweating hot and cold and it was all he could do to keep from either screaming in pain, like he and Joe had done over and over till they could barely hobble that bleak, dismal, godforsaken January – it was always fucking January wasn't it – just to feel something, or simply shutting down, rolling over and going to sleep.

One thing was sure: Sav couldn't reveal anything about that to Jani, who would only think he'd done something wrong, and he hadn't. That was all on Sav. And he'd better answer promptly or Jani would take that as criticism, as well. "You... you should... should do whatever you want. Whatever... feels good." The lovely young man's own words were more right than anything Sav could think of. He tried to smile in the dark, and it was fucked up, too.

One advantage: it was one hell of a boner killer.

* * *

Something was changing. Jani didn't want to pry, but something was going on with Sav. All of a sudden, the bassist seemed tense and unless Jani was completely mistaken, Sav was shivering a little, too, now. Also, until now, Sav had been the one to suggest what Jani should do, and now his response to Jani's question whether he should take off his shirt, too, was that Jani should decide, that he should do what he wanted, what felt good.

Sav hadn't said it, but the message was clear to Jani: Sav trusted him. He'd made the decisions for Jani when he was so overwhelmed that he couldn't look after himself, and now that Jani was calming down, Sav acknowledged it and expressed his confidence in him.

Sav was so different from Tony, Jani thought. Tony was also older than Jani and, especially recently, Jani had often felt being patronised by Sonata's singer. Yes, he knew he wasn't living a healthy life, but the way Tony sometimes rubbed it in... With Sav, on the other hand, Jani felt accepted, an equal despite their contrasting age and, well, maturity for lack of a better term. Sav had taken over for Jani when he was incapable of taking care of himself, but was returning Jani's freedom as soon as the crisis was over.

Jani blinked. Sav was looking at him and Jani could see the smile on his face. He smiled back, a little insecure, but he knew what he wanted now and he knew that Sav was okay with it. "Thank you," he said. He sat up, pulled the shirt over his head, and laid down again. With his upper body now bared, he could feel Sav's body heat even more acutely. After a moment's hesitation, he moved closer to the other man and sighed when Sav's arms were still there, welcoming him.

Again, he thought that maybe this shouldn't feel so good, but it did. Jani returned the hug and let himself be held, gasping when their naked chests came into contact. Skin on skin, he'd missed it so much! It wasn't the same as with Anni or Miia – although it had been a while since he'd laid with them like this – but it felt good, so good, maybe even better because there was no pressure, no need to perform. He'd still better keep his lower body at a discreet distance, but he knew he'd made the right decision.

"This feels good," he whispered. His mouth was close to Sav's neck and without thinking, Jani kissed his collarbone.

* * *

The less control he tried to exert, the better, Sav decided. Just when he was sure he'd scared Jani away, the guitarist sat up only long enough to shed his shirt, careful of his splinted hand, and then he was back. Sav's breath caught when the expanse of naked skin pressed to his. Other than the line below his navel, Jani's torso was all but hairless, very pale probably from lack of sunlight. What had he said about long winters? Coming from blue-eyed, dirt-blond Saxon stock, Sav had a similar lack of melanin in his skin. The hair on his own chest was sparse, fine, and never grew longer than the length of his little fingernail, lighter blond than anywhere else on his body, with the oddity that it partially covered his pecs but left his sternum bare.

A barbed-wire tat circled Jani's wrist; he had a few others, all black-and-white but Sav couldn't make out what they were. Funny, he'd had all that time to look at them at the A&E but they hadn't even registered. Now he wanted the stories on all of them. Someday, maybe.

While he lay still, letting the chaos his mind had dredged up again fade, Jani wiggled down. Sav felt hot breath against the notch of his throat, then... lips. On his collarbone. This was almost exactly what he'd done to Jani just minutes ago. Determined not to moan, Sav gasped in a breath, huffed it out. His toes curled then splayed back, and he was glad Jani couldn't see that. "Good... yeah..." he croaked when Jani again reported it so.

Not knowing where the action was coming from, Sav laid a hand over Jani's heart, slid it straight down over the pectoral muscle, nipple, ribs, obliques, then 'round his back for another squeeze. The younger man's face hadn't moved away, Jani's eyes looking 'up' at him. Impulse control once again shorted out, he dropped the lightest kiss he could on Jani's forehead.

* * *

Jani's smile widened when Sav echoed that he, too, felt good. He'd been a little insecure about taking his shirt off and now found it confirmed that he'd made the right call. After he'd realised that he'd kissed Sav – really! What had he been thinking! – he'd been afraid that the other man would pull away, but he hadn't.

And now Sav, who was also still smiling, placed a warm hand on Jani's chest, felt his heart beat. The hand moved downward in a gentle slide and Jani couldn't stifle a soft moan when it grazed his nipple and he felt a surge of blood rush to his groin. It should have been uncomfortable to be touched like this by a guy but it felt _good._ He wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad that apparently Sav hadn't intended this as his hand continued to caress Jani's chest, then his hip until it found its way to his back.

All the time, their eyes held each other's gaze in the dim twilight of the room. Could Sav see it in Jani's eyes that he was aroused? Did Sav know it from the thumping of Jani's heart? Jani was afraid that Sav would notice and pull back, yet at the same time he hoped that Sav knew and didn't mind. Or that he knew and felt likewise.

The Sav bent forward a little and kissed Jani's forehead and Jani was helpless to stop himself from moaning again. This couldn't be happening! He must be misunderstanding the situation – although how could there be any doubt? Sav wouldn't have kissed him if he hadn't wanted to!

"I... This..." Jani opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. To say he was confused was the understatement of the century if not the millennium. "... feels good," he finally repeated.

Maybe he was dreaming. It was the only explanation that made sense.

* * *

"Good... 's brilliant," Sav slurred. He'd have sworn that Jani was disappointed when he stopped exploring his chest and went back to hugging him.

Slowing the movement of his hand further, he laid his open palm over the curved wing of Jani's collarbone, thumb extended to touch the hollow of his throat. Like before, Sav drew his hand downward, but this time he used his fingers to texture the passage. "'s this feel good, too?" he asked, tapping his index finger once on the hard little point of Jani's nipple. Then he moved on. Only gently, he scratched his short nails down and diagonally across the smooth skin till he reached Jani's hip.

"Wanna..." No, he'd go too far if he stated what he wanted.

"Please..." Sav nearly cringed over how thin and desperate his own voice sounded. His fingers dug in; that was unintentional and Jani flinched.

"S-Sorry... can I...?" Lord, this was bloody awkward. His other arm had been buried under the pillow Jani's head was resting on. He pulled it free, folding it between their torsos and placing it, his fret hand, palm-down on the other side of Jani's chest. "You're so nicely built, you know. A lead guitarist doesn't need to be a moose, he needs stamina, some flash. Style, showmanship. Get you on stage, I bet you're all that." His hands slid again, this time to cup Jani's biceps.

* * *

If it was indeed a dream, it was one of the best Jani could ever remember having. Sav's hand came up to Jani's collarbone, caressed the little hollow of his throat, making him swallow and for once suppress another soft moan. However, when Sav tapped his nipple and asked if that felt good, too, Jani knew that it wasn't a dream – and that the touch was deliberate. This time, he could, for the life of him, not keep quiet. "Ohgodyes," he gasped as his arm tightened around Sav.

He'd known for some time that unlike those of many guys his nipples were an extremely sensitive erotic zone. He'd never asked any of his girlfriends to give them particular attention and they hadn't figured it out on their own... Okay, so maybe he'd been reluctant to let them find out as he sometimes thought reacting so strongly to have them played with made him appear unmanly. Also, most groupies he'd been with had focused on either sucking him off or letting him fuck them, so his nipples had never come up there either, except for once.

Jani couldn't remember her name, but the act itself was forever burned into his memory. The girl had blown him but she'd also had both her hands on his chest, rolling and pinching his sensitive little buds to the point where it had become painful. He'd had bruises the following day and there was a bootleg video of that show in which one could clearly see the swelling that was visible through his tight shirt. He'd hurt for days, yet he'd also never come so hard from a blowjob before.

What he also remembered were her parting words, that he 'totally needed to have his nipples sucked.' Sav's finger touching the already stiffening bud instantly made him hard – really hard, something that hadn't happened in a long time. "Feels good, too, yes!" he gasped again, urgently, and then he couldn't believe that he actually whined a little when Sav's hand didn't linger on his chest but moved toward his hip.

The gentle scratching of short, blunt fingernails on his skin made him shudder and when Sav began that the wanted... something, begged, asked if he... Whatever Sav wanted and didn't put into words, Jani wanted it, too. His groin was on fire and he needed Sav to touch him! But then Sav started to speak about Jani's build and what he supposed Jani would be like on stage.

Jani blinked. He wasn't exactly proud of his body. So yes, after the end of the European tour he'd lost most of the weight he'd put on during both tours, but he couldn't exactly attribute it to taking care of himself. It was more that while on tour he'd lived off booze and fast food and after they'd returned he'd pretty much skipped eating altogether. And yet Sav appeared to find him attractive...

One hand on Jani's bicep, Sav kept tracing his hip with the other. It felt so good, yet it wasn't enough, by far not. All Jani knew was that he _needed. More._

"Sav," he gasped, "would you... Please... touch me?"

* * *

Okay, now Jani was interested, no keen, and then some judging by the way he moaned – loud – and his eyes rolled back for a second. Just when Sav thought talking might be the thing to do, he had to rethink again... this bloke was like a switchback road down a mountainside – thrilling and scary and forever changing direction.

What seemed to get to him had been the first time Sav 'accidentally' pet his nipple, and when he tapped the other, from the subtle change in position and the mini outburst, he could tell Jani was incredibly sensitive there. Had anyone else had ever played with his little nubs for him, and if so, had Jani had enjoyed it? They were about to find out how much he appreciated it tonight.

He had one hand on Jani's hip to brace him, the other headed back to the peak centred on his pec, when Jani suddenly begged – pained, urgently – for Sav to touch him. It took no leap of the imagination to figure out where he wanted to be touched, but Sav decided to draw it out. His own throbbing problem was not going to go down, so they might as well get the most out of this now that Jani had made up his mind. With a fingertip, he drew a teasing circle around one nipple, then the other, back again, and he flicked at the tip just enough to sting. Then he wiggled down the bed, caressing lower down across the planes of Jani's stomach. He licked the nipple closest to him, used just the slightest pinch of his teeth.

It wasn't fair, he knew Jani might not be able to answer a direct question, but the deliberate tease turned Sav on more than he could have imagined. His own nipples had pebbled to diamond hardness; he was going to hump the bed soon just for a little friction and it was maddening. "Touch you where, Jani? Tell me... or show me."

* * *

"Nnnhh...!" Jani's head thrashed on the bed when Sav returned his attention to Jani's chest. His moans sounded... he should at least try to keep them down, but there was no way he could be quiet, not with the fiery jolts that shook his body when Sav began to circle one of his nubs teasingly. Jani was about to beg Sav to not tease him when Sav flicked his finger against the by now hard peak, making him hiss. It stung a little but it felt so _good!_

Their lower bodies still weren't touching but Jani's hips made small, involuntary rolling motions. A part of him was relieved that their erections – by now he was sure that Sav must be hard, too – didn't touch because he was afraid he'd come too quickly like back when he was thirteen and could get himself off with just a couple of strokes. A second later, even that fear was driven from his mind when Sav scooted down on the bed and licked and pinched Jani's nipple with his teeth. "Oh god, fuck, this... Sav... Please..."

Sav asked something about where Jani wanted to be touched, but Jani's brain was too busy short-circuiting from the pleasure to come up with an answer. The sensations from his chest were incredible, better even than that night back then, but of course he also wanted to have his dick touched. Or maybe not yet considering the coming-too-soon issue. So for now... "Please don't stop...!"

* * *

"Not gonna stop 'less you tell me to... wanna make it so good for you." Some heady mix of pride that he could make another person writhe and beg and whine like that, with the exotic strangeness (but not) of this being a bloke, and his own pleasure at using his hands, lips, tongue filled every cell of Sav's being. He threw off the covers. "So hot!" he rasped as both explanation and praise. Jani's hair was everywhere, strands of it sticking to his face. He switched to the other nipple, and in leaning to reach noticed – it was unmistakable – that Jani was hard in his – Sav's! – boxers.

But would he be allowed to touch? Was the pleading just for continued attention to his chest, or... lower? As a man, Sav knew what he would have – and did – want. His balls felt like they were swollen the size of oranges, fluids built up and ready to spill if he didn't control it. Instead of going directly for Jani's groin, Sav slid a hand up his thigh, and sucked down hard at the tiny pebbled nub in his mouth.

* * *

"Ohmygod!" Sav sucked on his other nipple. "Yes, there, right there, uhh...!"

Jani was so hard that a single touch to his groin could probably bring him off. Or, as he began to wonder, maybe he'd even be able to come from just this incredible stimulation, without even having his erection touched.

When Sav had asked him a minute ago where he wanted to be touched Jani couldn't make up his mind. He wanted... more, of course, he wanted Sav's hand on his dick, but he didn't want the mouth and fingers on his nipples to stop either, and... Sav did something and Jani cried out in what could only be called ecstasy.

No, it was impossible for him to make a decision. Sav said he wouldn't stop unless Jani told him so – which would never – _never!_ – happen. Jani gave himself over to the bassist. Sav was older than him and maybe the rumours were true that he had some experience with guys. Or maybe Sav was using his experience with girls and their breasts... Jani had some skills there, too, which meant he could return the favour later if Sav was into it...

Another wave of pleasure spread through his body when Sav pulled a little harder. "Oh god yes, Sav..."

* * *

With Jani's nipple in his mouth, Sav couldn't exactly grit his teeth when the strangled cry of, _Oh god yes, Sav_ went straight to his cock, challenging his restraint, threatening to overwhelm him. He wasn't sure what that even meant or what he would do next; working Jani's hot spots was so unlike the common scenarios that played out with women. That unknown, that wild element had always been part of the thrill. Same when a shy partner, a real rarity to begin with, gave in to their lust and need and took what they wanted of him. If Sav doing the work to show this young musician a new trick or two and giving him an earth-shattering climax in the process was the end result, then that was his pleasure, too. Just the thought of Jani letting go had Sav's body tight, halfway there already.

Oh, who did he think he was kidding? Yes, Sav could go without but he craved hands on his burning flesh, or failing that, he needed to rub up on something to soothe the ache just a little. Hitching his body closer, he swiped his tongue across the surfaces of the tiny point and sucked harder yet. His hand had reached what was unmistakably Jani's balls, which he stroked lightly through the cotton fabric. It was a gamble, whether Jani would stop him, but then this entire episode since they both awoke in bad straits had escalated and could only continue to soar.

It was inevitable, that he press himself against Jani. Being lower down the bed, Sav encountered Jani's thigh halfway between his hip and knee, and yeah, he flexed his spine a couple of times to push his cloth-covered hard-on against the muscle. "Oh fuck yeah...!" fell from his lips, no longer attached to Jani's chest at the moment but still touching, lipping through his own saliva and Jani's fresh sweat. "Jani... gawd...!"

Sav couldn't stop the roll of his hips, and he tried; he didn't want to scare the kid. It wasn't like Jani was inexperienced with sex, not with just having been dumped by two – simultaneous – girlfriends. _Keep telling yourself that,_ his conscience fired back, convinced Jani had never been touched like this by another man before. Sav could be projecting, having gone through a similar series of events around the same age. He shifted again just inches, now panting into Jani's neck, grinding against his leg, palming the erection he knew he'd find. "Do you want a hand with that?" Sav whispered in the dark.

* * *

"Nnhh..." If he'd been capable of thinking straight, Jani would have tried to tamp down his moans and gasps because otherwise they'd soon be thrown out of the hotel. However, his few remaining brain cells were busy dealing with the overload in his synapses. How could anything feel so good! Sav was licking, sucking, pulling at his nipples with his teeth and Jani was thrashing his head, squirming on the bed, wanting more – although he wasn't even sure if he could handle more. It was... beyond words to describe.

"Sav, Sav," he chanted, then groaned out loud when Sav's hand closed in on his balls. Oh god, he wasn't going to be able to hold back if that hand went any further! He was going to make a glorious mess in his – Sav's! – boxers. Jani's balls were so hard and sensitive that he tensed, expecting the touch to hurt, but to his surprise Sav's fingers were so gentle and delicate that it felt... again, he didn't have words. "Feels so... so..." he gasped helplessly.

Then Sav moved closer until his body was flush against Jani's and he could feel something hard against his thigh. Although he should have expected this, Jani found himself surprised. Of course, Sav was a man, and considering what they were doing it made sense that he was hard, too – at least Jani hoped that Sav wasn't just doing it for him – but it was the first time he experienced another dick first-hand. He wasn't freaking out, it was actually pretty hot. Apparently, Sav thought so, too; what he pressed out relieved Jani's brief moment of doubt whether Sav really wanted this, too.

Unfortunately, the fireworks from his chest had stopped when Sav moved, but it gave Jani an opportunity to breathe. Maybe a moment of... Jani's mind went blank when Sav's let go of his balls and curled around his erection. He wasn't even nervous any longer because of his – lack of – size. There was only one thought in his mind, that he wanted, no, that he _needed_ to come.

"Sav, please, please..." he pressed out through clenched teeth. His good hand gripped Sav's back so tightly that the other man would likely have bruises the following day. Jani tried to relax the hand but he was so strung, so tense, so incredibly close... "Please, Sav, I need to come. Please make me..."

Another thought struck and Jani hurried to voice it before he'd be unable to speak. "What about you?"

* * *

"I wanna touch you, you never mind meh," Sav groaned, "'Less you wanna do this together..." He was single minded in getting Jani off now; if he had to blue ball it or came in his pants, so be it. He pushed Jani's boxers down in front, enough to get at him, pleased at the noises that the meeting of bare skin dragged from the other's throat.

"You're so hard..." Now that was stating the obvious but Sav still made the observation aloud. It could be Jani's youth, but the phallus now in his grip was like stone; Sav couldn't remember being that hard in a long time... other than now. He supposed Jani's cock was about average, he wasn't sure and wasn't about to pull out a ruler... but it was velvet-covered solid wood, the foreskin cuffed just under the head. After his quick examination, Sav looked up to see if Jani was okay or if he was freaking out.... his head was thrown back, tossing from side to side as he begged to come.

His nipples had been what got Jani this hot for it; Sav wasn't going to ignore them now. He started slow strokes up and down the length of Jani's dick and bent down to suck one of those tight little nubs, still wet from before. The way Jani was twisting and jerking his hips, Sav didn't need much direction on the speed of his hand – faster, faster. Drops of liquid fell on his hand. Pre-come. Wow, that was a lot. He bit on the edge of the areola in his mouth before switching to the other, which made Jani buck into his fist. Sav slid his leg – the one on top in their position – between Jani's and unapologetically ground against him, even more blood surging to fill his erection.

It wasn't going to last much longer – Jani's balls had crawled up tight to where the side of Sav's fist was bumping them on every downstroke. "You gonna come for me...? Want you to do it... see you shoot it..." He felt... free, new, like he'd been given a gift. This was so fucking sexy! Sav choked, unable to speak any longer and attacked Jani's nipple yet again. Any time now...

* * *

"Nnnh! Mmnnn... God, yes! Sav!" When had his voice become so high-pitched? It didn't matter. There was nothing Jani could do about it – there was nothing Jani could do at all but lay there under Sav's hands and mouth. His good hand was balled into an even tighter fist than just seconds before, his toes curled and he dug his heels into the mattress as Sav stroked him firmly. Jani's back arched, his body so rigid with the tension of almost being there that he couldn't even thrust into Sav's tight fist any longer. If Sav had asked him to be touched also, Jani wouldn't have known how to do it. God, the was so close!

Then Sav asked him if Jani wanted to come for him. There was only one answer but Jani was beyond speaking. "I... Nnnhhh... Sav... Sav..." Sav got it, okay, how could he not have, he was a guy, too, and Jani loved, _loved_ him for his restraint, for not making Jani wait, for telling him he wanted Jani to come, to see him shooting.

It was too much – almost – but when Sav bent down to take Jani's nipple between his teeth and pull on it hard, Jani was done. His climax washed over him like a tsunami, taking his breath away and emptying his brain of blood. Jani heard a choked cry and knew it was his when his balls drew up almost into his body, his spermatic cords contracted so violently that it hurt, again and again, and he cried out loud every time another jet of white-hot seed was ejected, his whole lower body on fire while he clutched at Sav to never let go of him again, riding out what was possibly the most intense orgasm of his entire life.

* * *

Maybe Sav was pushing him, or maybe Jani couldn't even balance lying on his side any longer – by now he was flat on his back, knees bent only a little so he could dig his heels into the mattress. The rest of his body was flexed and arched, all but motionless as he let Sav bring him closer and closer. Fuck, Sav loved it so much when his partner cried out his name... most people he'd been with expressed their ecstasy in cursing and blasphemy, and honestly, that was him too. He could spew some hell-worthy commentary when he got close to the edge. Jani though, it was like "Sav" was his O-word and the person who went by that name snarled in sexual rapture whenever it fell from those lips.

Just as he'd seen all the tiny tells when the pain of his broken digit hit, Sav watched from the corner of one eye as the sudden reverse skydive of Jani's orgasm wracked his body: toes curled, thighs pushed apart, belly trembled with the sudden spasms... then it crashed into Jani, who opened his mouth – holy shit, that kid had a jack-o-lantern smile – and screamed his release. He shot a fountain of white, decorating his chest up to the neck. Some of it got in Sav's hair; he wanted to laugh, not at Jani but from something akin to childlike – if very adult – delight. Was that a thing? It – Jani – kept coming. Every shot tore another hoarse screech, and Sav just kept working him through it, keeping a quick, steady rhythm to his strokes.

* * *

He was coming and coming; even when his dick became so oversensitive that it hurt to have it touched more white seeped from his slit. Jani's eyes were watering as he watched Sav's hand continuing to firmly milk out more fluid while his mouth tortured Jani's nipple. That, too, was beginning to hurt, yet Jani couldn't bring himself to ask Sav to stop. Regardless of the amount of – including really good – sex he'd had in his life, he'd never felt anything like this before and he wanted it to last.

Eventually, however, his body refused to cooperate. Jani couldn't keep up the tension any longer and when he fell back on the mattress he was shaking. Unbelievably, his dick was still somewhat hard – and leaking like a sieve.

Sav was pressed against him, making sounds that suggested he was _very_ close, too. Jani would have bruises on his thigh and hip where Sav's erection was grinding into him; he could feel the desperation. He had no idea what he was... no, not supposed to do, what he _could_ do to make it good for the other man. Did Sav want to rub up against him or did he do it because of lack of an alternative? Jani could at least offer him the latter.

"Go for it," he rasped, his voice hoarse from shouting his release. "Or I could... my hand..."

* * *

Sav almost couldn't believe how much Jani came. Okay that sounded ridiculous. More accurately, how long it continued, and how much of the creamy froth he pumped out. How...? He couldn't help that edge of manly competition that suspended him somewhere between awe and envy. Well, it didn't matter _how_ , did it? Sav – and his own testicles – had witnessed it and were about to attempt to upstage the outpouring.

Once Jani was finished, falling slack on the mattress, Sav removed his hand without being asked before he went totally soft. He wished he didn't have to. The heft of Jani's erection inside his curled fingers had been perfect, fascinating to witness and participate when it wasn't his own equipment nor his own orgasm on tap. But, he well knew: there always came that point when being touched crossed over from not enough to too much. "That were brilliant, you had so much... wanna taste." Sav swiped two fingers through the mess decorating Jani's front, licked it off. Semen and vodka, something else, that indescribable element uniquely Jani. The taste and texture on his tongue did strange things to his libido... the closest he could come was the cacophony of sheer noise and triplets from Gods of War, he wanted to fly...

The immensity of Sav's need caught up with him. He had not stopped rutting against Jani's thigh, twisting his spine and pushing with his hips, friction overwhelming any former hold on his animal instincts. Faster, clutching on to Jani's arm, Sav felt the wall beginning to crumble when Jani offered to help him out, and he seized the offer along with Jani's hand. He skimmed his underwear down just enough to tuck the elastic under his balls. "Ohfuckplease... would you...?"

* * *

Sav let go of Jani's dick and for a moment Jani wasn't sure whether he was more relieved or more disappointed. However, his thoughts immediately returned to his... partner when Sav swiped his fingers through the mess on Jani's chest and licked them. This was unexpected... Then Sav cursed, took his hand and guided it to his groin, accepting the offer.

Well, any other reaction would have surprised him. Jani hadn't made the offer out of politeness or guilt. He had no idea what to do now – okay, that wasn't entirely right, he'd take Sav's dick in his hand and wank him, but he'd never touched another guy's sex. Hopefully, he could deliver what he'd offered. He knew how he liked to be stroked, of course, but that didn't automatically mean that Sav would like it the same way. On the other hand, when he'd been with a woman for the first time he hadn't had the slightest clue about pleasuring her and he'd managed somehow, so he'd just go ahead and see how Sav would react.

The only minor hitch was that they had to switch their positions so Jani would have more freedom of movement with his good hand. "Just a sec," he whispered. "Sorry, but I've got to get on your other side and that means you have to stop... let go of me for a moment."

* * *

He hadn't pulled away, hadn't said 'No' but Jani did say, "Stop". If Sav hadn't first heard the qualifier that Jani needed more freedom of movement for his unbroken hand, he'd have been humiliated at the possibility that he'd pushed too far. Luckily, such wasn't the case. Sav had to concede a grudging sort of respect that Jani was assertive enough to make his requirements known. It would be to Sav's advantage, too, once they got repositioned. His dick lurched and spat a bead of slick, already anticipating a strong, capable hand.

Stopping his grind proved near-impossible, but Sav closed his eyes tight and made himself freeze. The scent of Jani's spunk suffused his senses – naturally his balls were screaming to add to the mess. "Aye... do whatever you need to..." he groaned. Now it was his turn and to flop onto his back. "Just touch me..."

* * *

Jani sat up to change positions and the first thing he noticed was that all the bones in his body seemed to have been replaced by jelly – except for the broken one in his finger that was beginning to make itself known again. Screw it, he told himself. Judging from Sav's tone of voice when he'd just asked Jani to touch him this wouldn't take long. He wouldn't let his – again he wondered how to refer to Sav but decided it didn't matter – he wouldn't let Sav suffer from blue balls and his hand could wait for another few minutes.

Regardless of his determination, Jani was a little insecure when he laid down next to Sav on his other side. Should he go right for it, wrap his hand around Sav's erection and start stroking or should he go a little slower? Considering how desperately Sav had rutted against him, the decision was easy and made quickly. Jani took a deep breath, smiled at Sav and reached out.

Sav's cock was bigger than his, longer as well as thicker. Jani got a firm grip on it and began with not-too quick strokes to get a little feeling for him first. It was different and yet not very different either from when he did himself. As for Sav's reaction...

* * *

The second Jani took him in hand, Sav rolled back on his side, threw his leg over Jani's hip, rolled his pelvis so all the other man really had to do was keep his grip tight. He didn't mean to react like that! Sav kept his gaze on Jani's face to make sure he wasn't scared or disgusted by such pushiness, and when after the first second it seemed not, he was writhing, gyrating, entire body horizontally strutting and swinging his arse like it was a private performance, only he wasn't going for showing off, it just happened like that. "Yeah... yeah... god, yeah!" he hiccupped like a teenaged slut, tossing his head, his hair.

Having someone else's long, strong fingers on his cock was ten times better than his own. Immediately, he wished it was Jani's fret hand, and what those callouses would feel like. He should've thought of that... maybe some other time... he couldn't think, or, only of one thing, the need to blow his load. Just a few more strokes, so perfect! Somehow Jani figured out a hold so his foreskin slid over the ridge and back with every thrust, 'cause that's what he was doing, fucking Jani's hand... Just two more strokes... one more...

"Gonna... 'm gonna fuckin' come on you..." Sav felt the dam holding back the flood of seed break, saw the first spurts of it mix with the stickiness on Jani's belly, heard his own wail of release. And then he did the unthinkable, the thing you do not do: he leaned forward and, still coming, kissed Jani's lips.

* * *

Seeing Sav letting himself go completely was a whole new experience in Jani's book. Of course the women he'd been with did that, too, but Sav... was a man and it just wasn't the same. A part of Jani was still surprised by his complete lack of freaking out over the fact that he'd just had an incredible orgasm given to him by a guy and that he now had his hand wrapped around that guy's erection and said guy was, well, fucking it was the only description that fit.

It was... hot. There was no other word for it. _Sav_ was hot. He was thrusting into Jani's hand, moaning, his hair flying as he tossed his head, the expression on his face the personification of wantonness. As Jani had expected, it didn't take Sav long to get... close. And when he announced that not only was he going to come but he was going to come _on him,_ Jani felt something stir in his belly that would have been lust if he thought he could handle another round.

However, his dick didn't even twitch. It had been a long time since Jani had last had sex – since he'd last even been interested in sex – but Sav had taken care of him so thoroughly that Jani didn't think he could get it up again before maybe a month from now.

It was a good thing because it allowed him to focus all his attention on Sav now. The already thick cock in his hand suddenly seemed to swell up to twice its size. The vein on the underside began to throb almost violently and then Sav wailed as the first thick rope of white splashed onto Jani's belly. Jani tightened his hand and Sav kept on coming...

... and then Jani's eyes suddenly widened as Sav... _kissed him?!_ Taken by utter surprise, he opened his mouth and let his tongue tip trace the unfamiliar lips that touched his own.

* * *

Physically speaking, it was easy, this kissing. And it felt nice to come down to after the incredibly intense sexual rush that preceded it. Jani's lips were soft, softer than the slackened hold around his cock which Sav never wanted to end, so likewise the meeting of their lips. The slip of Jani's tongue into his mouth would have fired him up again, if he'd been 20 years younger. He recognised that, and concentrated on the gentle comforting exchange.

That's where easy ended; the rest was complicated, or could potentially be. Jani had kissed him back, followed by licking at Sav's lips until it was fully mutual once again, same as hugging and the sex – well, hand jobs. Yes, now they were coated in each other's cream. His body was humming in the aftermath – not even X was this good and he'd given all that up years ago.

Sav couldn't say for sure what had made him do any of it. He hugged Jani close as best he could. Morning couldn't be far off, and would end this. That was his only regret, that they'd met at the beginning and not the end of a tour, and that it had taken a broken finger to get them together.

Between one breath, kiss, tongue swipe and the next, Sav lost consciousness as sleep crashed over him.

* * *

As everything that had happened during this weird night since Sav had started hugging him, the kiss felt, Jani didn't know how to put it, 'natural', right. It was gentle, tender, and – he'd hesitate to call it that but that was what it felt to him – loving. They kissed for a while, sampling and savouring each other, then Sav gave a soft sigh and pulled Jani closer before growing heavy in Jani's arms, deeply asleep.

If not for his hand, Jani was sure he'd have followed suit immediately, but the angry throbbing wasn't going to be ignored. Somehow he managed to wiggle around so he could grope around on the nightstand for his painkillers without leaving the warmth of Sav's arms. After dry-swallowing two of the pills he hugged Sav close, too. It would take a little while until the medication took effect, but he didn't really mind as it would let him enjoy being close to Sav for just a little longer. He'd, to his own chagrin and that of every girlfriend he'd ever had, never been able to sleep in someone's arms and the pain would keep him awake for another little while – he hoped it would take a long time... Actually, he found that he didn't want this to end...

Jani didn't remember falling asleep, but he was very surprised when he woke up a few hours later, still safely ensconced in Sav's arms.

* * *


End file.
